Mai Hardly Ever Her Temper With Her Classmate Dịch

     

Every child is born with his own way of approaching the world. Learn how khổng lồ help your child cope with new people, new experiences, and change in ways that suit their temperament.


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There are many, many children who are shy or “slow to lớn warm up,” meaning they are uneasy or cautious in new situations or with unfamiliar people. As babies, they didn’t like being held by just anyone; they wanted to lớn be cuddled by only a few special, trusted people. As toddlers, they stay on the “sidelines” for a while, watching what others are doing until they feel comfortable enough to lớn join in. They may have a difficult time with changes like a new child care provider, & protest when a relative they don’t see often offers a big hug.

Consider Your Family

No two children or families are alike. Thinking about the following questions can help you adapt và apply the information and strategies below lớn the unique needs of your child và family.

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How would you describe your temperament? What’s it lượt thích for you to meet new people or deal with a new situation?

How are you similar to lớn or different from your child in this way? How vày these similarities or differences impact your relationship?

Temperament và Children Who Are Slow khổng lồ Warm-Up

Every child is born with his own way of approaching the world, which we gọi “temperament.” A child’s approach to lớn new situations và unfamiliar people is one very important temperament characteristic. The fact is that some children are naturally more comfortable in new situations & jump right in, whereas others are more cautious and need time and tư vấn from caring adults lớn feel safe in unfamiliar situations. At the same time, these children are often very careful observers who learn a lot from what they see, & who may be more inclined to think through situations before they act—an important skill.

Temperament is not something your child chooses, nor is it something that you created. There is not a “right” or “wrong” or “better” or “worse” temperament. But temperament is a very important factor in your child’s development because it shapes the way she experiences and reacts lớn the world. A child who is cautious and a child who jumps right in are likely to lớn have very different experiences going lớn your annual family reunion, for example, and will need different kinds of tư vấn from you.

Also, keep in mind that cultural expectations play a role in a child’s sociability as there are cultural differences around how “shyness” is valued. For example, in some cultures, shyness is seen as a positive attribute and is encouraged và expected. In others, being more assertive is more highly valued.

Coping with new people and experiences

Some children seem khổng lồ come out of the womb waving hello. Others are more hesitant around people they don’t know, beginning even as young babies. As they grow, these children often prefer to play with just one or two close friends, instead of a large group. Children who are slow to lớn warm up often need time and tư vấn from trusted caregivers to feel comfortable interacting in new places or with new people.

Remember that a child’s behavior can vary in different situations. You may find your toddler is very quiet at a friend’s birthday các buổi tiệc nhỏ but is chatty as can be with his grandparents, whom he knows well and adores. Children who are slow to warm up are often very happy playing by themselves or just hanging out with you. Although they may need less, or different, kinds of social interactions, these children are just as happy as their more outgoing peers.

Coping with change

Young children are known for being inflexible about their routines and are generally not crazy about change. However, some children seem to have an easier time with transitions, are more flexible, & can move from one activity khổng lồ another more easily than others. Children who are slow lớn warm up often prefer things khổng lồ stay the same & are more resistant to trying something new, such as a new babysitter or even a new oto seat. It’s not uncommon lớn hear lots of “No, No, No!s” in these situations. Cautious kids often need time and tư vấn before they are ready to lớn make a transition. Routines are especially important và comforting. They help children feel in control of their world.

What to lớn Expect from Birth lớn Three

Birth khổng lồ 18 Months

Beginning at about 8–9 months of age, almost all babies are coping with separation and stranger anxiety. These are important developmental stages that most babies go through and are not the same as shyness. However, it is important to lớn keep in mind that babies who are by nature more slow lớn warm up, often experience difficulty with separations and may have a harder time being soothed.

Separations are a big issue at this stage because babies now:

Understand that they are their “own person,” separate from their parents.

Recognize the difference between familiar people & unfamiliar people.

Understand that people & things still exist even when out of their sight (object permanence). You see that your baby understands this concept when she looks for a toy that is hidden in a toy box, or for a ball that has rolled under the couch. Babies’ ability to grasp this idea is why, at this time, they often begin protesting at bedtime, crying out when put to sleep. They now know that you are still out there somewhere after saying good night, & naturally, want khổng lồ make you come back!

During this period, babies who previously had separated easily may start lớn cry and protest more at partings (such as drop-off at child care or bedtime) than they did before.

You can help reassure your baby by always saying good-bye. Give her a big hug và tell her she is in really good hands. With a smile, let her know that she will be just fine and you will see her later. Also, be sure your baby (over one year of age) has a “lovey” or special stuffed animal/blanket lớn cuddle while you are away. Although tempting, avoid sneaking out when you have to lớn leave your little one in someone else’s care. Sneaking out sends the message that you think you are doing something wrong by leaving her. This can increase any fearfulness she has about separations and being cared for by others.

Even at this young age, babies differ in their approach to social situations. Some seem eager to interact with anyone they meet. They coo and babble to lớn the person behind you in the grocery line, và crawl or run up lớn another mom reading books lớn her own children at the library. Other babies are more cautious around new people. They don’t seem to like being held or cuddled by people they don’t know well. They cling khổng lồ you, or hide behind your leg, when meeting someone new. They are slow lớn warm-up and need time to lớn get adjusted to và feel comfortable with new people.

It’s important lớn keep in mind that the goal is not to lớn change your baby’s temperament. It is critical that he feel accepted & respected for who he is. You support your baby when you help his caregivers understand who he is & what he needs. Talk with them about your child’s temperament, how he likes to lớn be soothed, what comforts him, & how he prefers khổng lồ be held. This information is important because it helps your child’s caregivers provide the care he needs and deserves, và makes your child feel safe with & trust them.

18 to 36 Months

You may see your slow-to-warm-up toddler:

Stick close to you when meeting new people or at activities lượt thích story hour at the library.

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Need some time to get comfortable in a new setting, such as a friend’s house or new playground, before she settles in và starts to play.

Rarely talk lớn people he doesn’t know.

Prefer khổng lồ play with you, or have you close while she plays with others.

Have a difficult time transitioning lớn a new caregiver, such as a new babysitter.

Appear overwhelmed (cry, protest, want khổng lồ leave, etc.) in busy, social settings lượt thích a mall, playground, or birthday parties.

Seem fearful at activities lượt thích parent–baby music or gymnastics classes.

Between ages 2–3, as your child starts khổng lồ play more interactively with other children, you may find that he prefers to lớn play with just one or two other good friends, rather than with a large group. This is very common. Remember, there is no right way khổng lồ be social. What makes a child happy can be quite different depending on the child. The number of friends a child has is not necessarily an important factor. The unique of the friendship is.

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Toddlers who are slow khổng lồ warm up may also benefit from structured activities to help them transition khổng lồ playing with others. For example, at the beginning of play time or a party, you may suggest making music (a wooden spoon and pot is perfect) or playing outside in a sandbox. This type of play gives children some time khổng lồ engage in side-by-side play before getting into more interactive activities. It can also help khổng lồ schedule playtimes and parties at your home when possible so that your child is somewhere she feels safe, secure, & confident.

Remember—temperament is not destiny. You can respect your child’s slow-to-warm-up nature while helping him learn the skills he needs khổng lồ adjust to new situations và new people successfully. For example, when you arrive at a new playground where there are lots of children playing, follow your child’s lead and just watch the kích hoạt for a while. Then, when you see your child feeling more relaxed and interested in what is going on around him, suggest that you push him in the swing or go down the slide with him. Ask him khổng lồ pick a piece of equipment to explore next. Step by step, with time, you help your child adjust to this new place—and enjoy himself.